


Some men don't like fun in the sun

by Jean_C_Pepper



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2017-10-11 14:17:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/113289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_C_Pepper/pseuds/Jean_C_Pepper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alfred ponders and Bruce and the Joker outrun the police</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some men don't like fun in the sun

The Batman and the Joker were sitting inside the Tumbler after a round of mind blowing sex.

The Batman was loathe to let his arch enemy out of the car just yet. He marveled that no one looked 'just fucked' more than the Joker. His hair was sticking up at odd angles because of Batman pulling it. His eyes were glowing brightly and a slightly dreamy smile played around his ruined mouth. Batman was staring at his lover with the look of fascination that so often graced his face when confronted with the Joker.

"Come here," he growled, grabbing the back of the Joker's head and pulling him forward to claim his lips in a bruising kiss. Things were heating up again and they were heading towards a second round when they both heard

"Batman, we have you surrounded. Step away from the vehicle."

The Joker looked over at Batman in surprise. "Put your seat belt on," Batman growled at him.

Because the Tumbler was a military vehicle, the seat belt was more like a harness and it took the Joker a minute to get it fastened. When he finished, he looked over at his Batsy and was surprised to see that he had a smile on his face. And what a smile! It was all teeth and gums, like a shark.

"Hold on," Batman growled at him before jamming down the throttle. The big black tank took off and the Joker could see the police hurriedly moving out of the way, so Batman wouldn't roll right over them.

Batman hit the street and stepped on the gas. The Joker was in sheer heaven. This was why Batsy was so much fun! They were flying down the street

Batman reached up and flipped a lever and the Joker looked back to see many of the cop cars stopping suddenly.

"What was that?"

"Glue," Batman growled.

The Joker giggled maniacally. That was an idea worthy of him. The Joker could see that the cop cars had pretty much fallen off and they were headed to Bats' hideout. The Joker couldn't figure out how he got there. One minute they were above ground, then they were underground and in Bats' hideout . The Joker didn't know that this was Bruce's backup hideout- the one he created for the Joker to see. Batman didn't know that the Joker didn't know how to come back.

 

Alfred was watching the secondary hideout from a monitor in the primary one. He knew that Bruce must have the Joker with him because of where he put the Tumbler. Alfred hated the Joker as few men are hated. But he couldn't do anything to break the connection- and even Alfred admitted that it was that- he had with Bruce. They both became surly if forcibly separated. The few times that Bruce had to leave town on business, the Joker wouldn't do anything while he was gone. But, once he was back- then all hell would break loose. And Bruce seemed to relish the challenge.

 

Alfred glanced at the monitor again. The Tumbler had not opened, which meant that they were probably copulating within.

It had taken Alfred a long time to realize that the Bruce that came back from China was a very different Bruce. Even before he left, he had a darkness. Alfred watched it grow and grow-until the Joker.

Suddenly, with the appearance of the Joker, the darkness started to balance out. Alfred knew-on some level- that they were sleeping together long before Bruce actually acknowledged it.

 

Alfred took another look at the monitor. The Tumbler was open and they were leaning against it. They both looked like they had just finished mating. Alfred sighed. At least he convinced Bruce to move their carnal activities into the Tumbler. It was too dangerous in an abandoned alley. It would be too easy to catch them.

They were standing there and talking. That was another thing that baffled Alfred. They fought, but they got along. As loathe as he was to admit it, it wasn't just sex. Bruce leaned forward and kissed his lover, who pulled the cowl off. Alfred turned the monitor off. He certainly didn't want to watch them anymore. Alfred shut off the lights and headed for his car- to go to the penthouse. Only a week ago, Bruce had to go out of town on Batman business and again he used models as a cover for what he was doing. Other men with Bruce's wealth and power would welcome vacations with fun in the sun and an armload of models. Bruce spent most of the time brooding in his stateroom. He couldn't wait to get back to his green haired fiend. Alfred had endured his displeasure with the women and the yacht all week long. .

 

Back in the makeshift Bat cave, Bruce pulled the Joker into the shower with him. That was another benefit of this specially built hideout. He had installed showers so that he and the Joker could shed their costumes together. At first, the Joker had resisted this, but Bruce had insisted. When they got up to the Penthouse, Bruce could tell that Alfred was shuffling around somewhere. He and the Joker headed to the kitchen. He was hungry and he knew that the Joker was too.

 

Alfred could hear them moving into the kitchen. They were talking- that is, the Joker was talking and Alfred could almost hear Bruce nodding. He didn't want to go in and interrupt them.

"You really hated your trip," he heard the Joker comment.

"Those women were aggressive," Bruce commented.

"I told you what to do about that," the Joker sing-songed.

"No," Bruce sounded huffy. "I am not doing that".

" If a woman climbs into bed with you and grabs your dick, she gets what she has coming," the Joker sounded like a teacher.

Alfred didn't hear Bruce's answer, for this piece of information astounded him. He knew that Bruce had taken to locking his stateroom door at night two days into the trip, but he didn't know that some female had tried to assault him. When Alfred went back to eavesdropping, he didn't hear them talking anymore. They must have gone into Bruce's room.


End file.
